Alice Albertovna did not warn her son about her visit; she wanted to surprise him. She began to open the apartment door with her key… But it didn’t fit!
“Mom?!” Kirill heard the rustling in the lock and opened the door. He didn’t expect to see his mother with a bag.
“Kirill, dear! And I’m here to visit you… What’s with the lock?”
“We changed it. Well, come in. Why didn’t you say something? I would have met you,” Kirill recovered and hugged his mother.
“I wanted to surprise you, make you happy. We haven’t seen each other for so long!”
Kirill nodded. In the two years living in different cities, he had not only missed his mother but had also found a girlfriend, moved in with her, and even got married. Knowing his mother’s character, Kirill had not told Alice Albertovna this news. Therefore, seeing women’s shoes and a jacket in the hallway, Alice Albertovna was surprised.
“Do you have guests?”
“No.”
“And what’s this?” the mother wrinkled her nose and picked up the sleeve of a bright pink windbreaker with two fingers. “What’s with the clown clothes? Has the circus come to town?”
“That’s my jacket,” a redhead “Thumbelina” peeked out from the kitchen. “Hello! I’m Nastya.”
“Why didn’t you hire a proper maid? You should have consulted with me…” Alice Albertovna scolded her son, paying no attention to Nastya.
“Mom, she’s not a maid.”
“Then who?”
“Nastya is my wife.”
Alice Albertovna stared at her son for a few seconds, then began to laugh.
“April Fool’s was a long time ago, son. Don’t joke like that…”
“This is no joke.”
“When did you manage to get married?! And why don’t I know about this?!” she exclaimed, turning red.
“I didn’t have time to tell you… We got married recently.”
“Really? And when?”
“A year ago.”
Alice Albertovna laughed again. This time her laughter was somewhat hysterical, but she tried to calm down.
“Well, if this is no joke, then introduce me to this wonder proudly called your wife.”
Alice Albertovna handed her son the bag and went to explore. Meanwhile, Nastya had finished her coffee. She needed to hurry to the meeting.
“So, a wife?” she muttered, sitting opposite. “And how did it happen that such a plain girl managed to ensnare my boy?”
“I would have told you, but there’s no time… I have to run,” Nastya demonstratively put the cup on the table and dashed out of the kitchen. She realized that her mother-in-law was not a “gentle breeze,” having a sense for such women. Moreover, Kirill had often told her about his mother, explaining why he hadn’t introduced them until now. “Love, I’m off to work! Missing you already.”
Nastya hung on Kirill’s neck.
The emotional goodbye of the wife and husband could be heard in the corridor. Alice Albertovna even shivered. It was very unpleasant for her that her dear son showed affection for some strange redhead she disliked.
“Kirill! I’m waiting for you in the kitchen!” she yelled, reminding him of her presence. The daughter-in-law finally let go of her son and slammed the front door. “Son, spend some time with mommy.”
“I’m actually leaving now too…”
“Cancel your plans today. Your mother came to visit!”
“I can’t. Work doesn’t wait. Are you staying with us for long?”
“I don’t know yet. Am I already a burden?”
“No, what are you talking about? Maybe you should book a hotel?”
“Why? I’d love to stay with you. Get to know Nastya, catch up with you…”
Kirill didn’t know what to say. He was sure that his mother wouldn’t get along with his wife. He didn’t want to argue, and he couldn’t refuse her either.
“I have to run. Make yourself at home… The couch in the kitchen unfolds if you decide to sleep.”
Alice Albertovna condescendingly shook her head. She wasn’t planning to sleep in the kitchen, so as soon as her son left the house, she began to tidy up his bedroom.
“What a mess… everything is scattered in the closet, shirts aren’t ironed, underwear isn’t in the right drawer… What’s this?! Hole-ridden socks?! Wow… This, ‘Hello-I’m-Nastya,’ doesn’t look after her husband at all!”
Alice Albertovna dumped everything from the closet, sorted the items, and started neatly placing them on the shelves in the living room. By lunchtime, the bedroom was completely transformed: all the daughter-in-law’s things had moved from one room to another. Alice Albertovna “conquered” the bedroom. Only the linens were left to change.
The mother-in-law grimaced, pulled the sheets off the bed, and stuffed them into the washing machine. In the closet, she found wrinkled bedding that seemed clean to her.
“Well, who would doubt it? She doesn’t even know that linens need to be ironed…” the mother-in-law remembered the daughter-in-law again. “Does she even own an iron?!”
When the spouses returned home, Alice Albertovna was reading a book on the made bed, and dinner was on the stove.
“Your mother is on fire…” Nastya whispered to her husband.
“Kirill, come eat while it’s hot…” Alice Albertovna called only her son, making it clear that the daughter-in-law wasn’t expected.
“What’s this news?” Nastya saw that the shelves were occupied by someone else’s things. “Where are my clothes?!”
“Where they belong. In the living room,” Alice Albertovna calmly replied.
“Nast, sit down. Let’s eat…” said Kirill, smiling conciliatorily. “We’ll figure out what to do later.”
Nastya sat down at the table, but no plate was placed for her.
Alice Albertovna sat down next to her son and pretended that the daughter-in-law did not exist.
However, Nastya wasn’t disconcerted. She took a plate from Kirill. Alice Albertovna was forced to serve more, so her son wouldn’t go hungry.
“What are you eating? I see you’ve lost weight…”
“I’m on a diet. Nastya wants me to get in shape.”
“Your Nastya wants a lot! Skinny as a board.”
Kirill even choked on this statement.
“Alice Albertovna, my weight is normal,” Nastya interrupted her.
“I would dispute that.”
“Do you have doubts? I can give you my fitness card with a body mass index calculation.”
Nastya left the room and returned not empty-handed—in one hand was a folder, and in the other, scales. “Here.”
She stepped on the scales and demonstrated the table of weight and height ratios to her mother-in-law.
“Perfect. But you, Alice Albertovna, have obesity. You need to eat less.”
This time, the mother-in-law choked.
“How dare you?!”
“You have folds on your sides and a double chin. Get on the scales, I’ll prove to you that you need to lose about ten kilograms.”
Alice Albertovna gasped for air and was at a loss for words.
“Okay, this is all relative,” Kirill raised his hands in a conciliatory gesture. “I like both of you just as you are.”
“What’s there to like?! Look at her! Not only is she skinny and redhead, she’s also wearing glasses!” Alice Albertovna didn’t hide her venom.
“And what do you have against a beautiful frame?” trying to remain calm, Nastya asked.
“I need healthy grandchildren… Statistically, children born to mothers with poor vision…”
“My children, if they are myopic, will only be so because of their father,” Nastya snapped back.
“Why is that?!”
“Because Kirill has minus three! Don’t you remember? He’s been wearing lenses for half his life! And my frame is decorative, with anti-reflective lenses, to reduce harm from the monitor. If you wish, we can go to the optometrist. My vision is as sharp as an eagle’s. But you might need glasses prescribed…”
“Why would I need that?!”
“To see that you’re not welcome in your son’s house,” Nastya pushed the plate away and got up from the table. Her appetite was gone. It was obvious that Alice Albertovna was looking for any reason to humiliate her.
“Mom… Maybe we shouldn’t argue?”
“I wasn’t arguing, she’s attacking me!”
“As the famous cat from the cartoon said, let’s live in harmony…”
“How can you get along with such a villain?!” Alice Albertovna dramatically widened her eyes. “I got it! She’s skinny and mean for a reason! She must have worms! She needs to be isolated immediately! Disinfect all the dishes, and get her tested right away. Oh my God, you kissed her, held her hand, and then didn’t wash your hands!”
“Mom! Enough!” Kirill banged his fist on the table. “I know you have a good imagination, but there’s a limit. Good night.”
Kirill left the kitchen for the living room. He thought Nastya would be upset, but she smiled at him.
“Sorry… My mom is quite a character… I warned you.”
“Don’t worry. I understand,” she replied.
“Let her stay overnight, and tomorrow I’ll arrange her move to a hotel, and we’ll return to our bedroom…” Kirill hugged Nastya to distract her from the worries.
“I think she’ll leave us on her own,” she smiled mysteriously.
All night, Alice Albertovna didn’t close her eyes. The door to the room didn’t close, and there was no door in the living room at all. The young spouses seemed to forget they had a guest and were quite loud.
Alice Albertovna was furious and even went to “sleep” on the balcony. The lovers stopped making noise only at dawn. But the daughter-in-law didn’t let the mother-in-law sleep: early in the morning, Nastya was bustling in the kitchen. She was leaving for work early that day and decided to treat her husband and mother-in-law to breakfast in bed.
Kirill appreciated the breakfast… And the mother-in-law, opening her eyes, gasped.
“Sonny, my dear, you’re gold! Are these my favorite éclairs?” she smelled the fresh coffee and saw a tray with a box from the bakery. She thought her son had decided to make amends with his mother for the sleepless night.
“What a good boy Kirill is! Went out for pastries, made his mother happy,” she thought.
“I forgive you for not standing up for me against your wife yesterday!” continued the monologue Alice Albertovna. She eagerly opened the box, but instead of pastries, it contained a specimen jar with a note:
“Good morning, dear mother-in-law! I’ve been trying all morning for you. You can get tested and be sure that everything is alright with me.”
Alice Albertovna barely suppressed nausea, quickly closing the box. It didn’t fit in her head that this plain girl could insult her like this!
“Kirill! Do you know what your wife has done! She needs to be shown to a psychiatrist!”
“What happened?” Kirill was devouring a croissant from the same coffee shop, which his wife had bought him for breakfast.
“Look at this!” Alice Albertovna shoved the box with the “gift” to her son.
He looked and laughed.
“Well, that’s cool! My respects…”
“Are you siding with her?!”
“Didn’t you read what’s written on the back of the note?”
“No… what is it?” Alice Albertovna frowned.
“Ingredients. Chocolate, raisins… It’s candy, mom. Nastya was just joking… Her friend works in a confectionery, she makes things out of chocolate that you wouldn’t believe are edible, and mainly, they’re almost harmless to the figure!” Kirill laughed heartily.
“Eat such candies yourself… Jokers.”
Alice Albertovna was offended. She felt deceived twice. The dislike for her daughter-in-law only grew and staying under the same roof with her was not only unpleasant but dangerous. Who knew what good Nastya would next put in her beloved mother-in-law’s tea…
Alice Albertovna realized that she couldn’t win this battle with this girl. She saw that Kirill no longer listened to his mother’s advice and was not ready to part with his wife over Alice Albertovna’s whims. Therefore, she quickly packed her things and left for the nearest hotel.
“Mom, are you joining us for dinner?” Kirill called his mother after work. “Nastya has set such a festive table… You’ll be amazed!”
“I’m already amazed by your wife. I’ll dine in the hotel. Thanks.”
“Well, as you wish… By the way, I have plans on Saturday. But Sunday I can dedicate to you. We could go to the park or your favorite museum…”
“With your ‘Hello-I’m-Nastya’?” snorted Alice Albertovna.
“No. My wife lets me go. So it’ll be just you and me. Like old times,” the son smiled.
“Then I agree. We’ll meet in the lobby of my hotel.”
“Decided. Well, goodbye. Nastya sends her regards.”
Alice Albertovna didn’t respond. She didn’t know what the future held, but she understood: if she wanted to maintain a relationship with her son, she needed to compromise.