Tatiana never told anyone about what happened to her many years ago. She lived quietly, keeping to herself, trying not to meddle in other people’s affairs. If people asked for help, she always responded. But if not, she didn’t impose herself.
Despite her blindness, Tanya sensed the world more sharply than many sighted people. By smell, by the sound of footsteps, by a person’s breathing, she could understand more than others by looking into their eyes. She distinguished emotions in the voice, fear in the rustle of clothing, pain in a barely perceptible sigh. Her perception had changed — deeper, more precise.
One of the doctors who happened to visit her was amazed:
“How can you do that? I even took a shower before coming, put on clean clothes. It took me half an hour to get here — not a drop of sweat, no sign of being outside. And yet you understood everything…”
Tatiana replied softly:
“I just know how to smell despair. It’s there in those who have lost hope. You just have to learn to understand its source. It’s difficult… almost impossible. But possible.”
The doctor cautiously asked:
“You help many people… I didn’t come here just like that. But why don’t you help yourself? Sorry for being direct, but that seems unfair.”
Tanya shrugged slightly:
“This isn’t cured with herbs. It’s not an illness at all. More like a consequence. After a severe fright or grief, the brain can shut down anything — voice, speech… I lost my sight. That happens.”
These were the longest words she ever spoke about herself. And only because the person who came to her radiated such despair it seemed he would burn to ashes any moment. His time was running out.
Today, as usual on weekends, Tatiana went to the forest. Murat walked beside her — a big, shaggy dog, loyal and smart. Sometimes he allowed himself puppy-like joy: suddenly breaking into a run, tumbling in the grass. But when Tanya called, he immediately returned, pressing his side against his owner.
In the village, everyone knew her as “Baba Tanya.” No one guessed she was not yet fifty. But Tatiana did not mind — let them think what they want. Fewer questions that way.
She suddenly stopped. Froze, as if rooted to the ground. Murat instantly froze beside her — no sound, no movement. Only silence and tense attention.
Tanya listened. Somewhere in the distance, an engine was gaining power — dull, strained. And the sound got closer. It seemed the car was coming right here.
Murat nudged her leg with his cold nose — “I’m here, don’t be afraid.”
“Better if it just passes by…” flashed through Tanya’s mind. But no — the engine quieted right at the gate.
It grew cold inside. Something was wrong. Usually, when someone came to her for help, her heart warmed. Now it clenched as if under ice.
A door slammed. Voices sounded — harsh, full of suppressed anger.
“Why did you start this?!” a hoarse male voice asked. “What nonsense? Do you think that old local woman will help me? Do you even realize how much has already happened?”
The female voice was unpleasant, sickly sweet, like honey mixed with yeast:
“Well, my dear, have you lost your mind? All the doctors gave up — and here I am, desperate, rushing to the last hope! Taking you to that… local witch. Maybe she will work a miracle? Imagine the story — a loving wife didn’t leave without help! Better here, in nature, than at home… Maybe you’ll catch the sunset one last time.”
The man laughed bitterly:
“Didn’t expect such foresight from you. Although… the account is already blocked. Down to the last penny.”
The woman giggled shrill:
“It’s okay, I’ll endure. Won’t be long. Once I inherit — the block will be lifted, and life will get better. Oh, how tired I am of you! You have no idea!”
Pause. The man sighed deeply. His voice became cold like the winter wind:
“Better here, among forest beasts, than next to such a hyena as you. Leave.”
Footsteps. Door slam. The car screeched tires and drove away.
Tatiana stood as if petrified. That female voice… she recognized it. That same woman had come a year ago. Asked for a collection of herbs — to “slightly improve her husband’s health.” Offered sums of money that would make others bow deeply. But Tanya never took payment for help. Especially when she saw death in someone’s words.
Then — a new voice. Close. Behind the gate.
“Hello…” it sounded with pain and confusion. “Sorry, they… threw me out. Right here. And I… can’t go anywhere.”
Tatiana shuddered all over. She also knew this voice. But she couldn’t remember from where. Somewhere deep in memory flickered a shadow, but no face came. Only emptiness.
“Hello…” she said, trying to keep her voice steady not to reveal trembling.
Tatiana and Murat stepped closer. The dog growled cautiously, tensing his whole body — Tanya felt it in every cell. She understood his reaction: the man was sitting right on the wet ground and was clearly unwell. Help was needed. To transfer him to a chair — since some woman had mentioned something about a wheelchair.
Tanya, with a habitual movement, swept a long stick before her, probing the space. There it was — the chair. Bending down, she found familiar levers, clicked a couple of times — the mechanism unfolded. She had dealt with this many times before: so many tourists with wheelchairs had come to her for help! Bringing the device closer to the man, she gently said:
“Please, sit down.”
“How can I…?” desperation was heard in his voice. “My hands won’t hold anything… They don’t hold me.”
“Murat, help!” Tanya commanded firmly, leaving no room for argument.
She heard the man snort distrustfully — she felt that sound with her skin. But soon an amazed, almost reverent sigh escaped him:
“A dog?.. So you… you are smarter than many people! Some — definitely!”
There followed rattles, groans, efforts — and finally the man found support, settling comfortably in the chair. A heavy sigh of relief.
“You won’t be going anywhere now,” Tanya said quietly but confidently. “And you shouldn’t even try. Your blood pressure is jumping like crazy. Soon it will get very bad.”
She carefully, almost weightlessly, touched his forehead with her palm. Cold, cool skin. The man shuddered from surprise.
“How do you know all this?” His voice mixed surprise and disbelief.
Something sharply pricked Tanya inside, like a splinter deep in her chest. Again! Now! Somewhere on the edge of memory flickered an answer, so dear and familiar… But it disappeared again, scattering like morning fog. She cursed herself irritably.
A dull, helpless anger boiled inside. For the first time! She who remembered every rustle, every leaf, every voice she ever heard… Now — a blank. As if her brain decided to play a cruel joke. A curse!
It was so long ago… It seemed like an eternity had passed since then. Thirty years. To be exact — almost thirty-one years since the tragedy.
Back then, Tanya was a young girl, beautiful, full of life, with eyes burning with an undying flame. She had plans — big, grand. She rushed to the city as if on wings, to study, work, conquer the world.
And there, just two days later, her life was overturned by one meeting. He became everything to her: air, light, life itself. She felt his love with every cell of her being.
Then came happiness — true happiness, the kind that makes you fly. She became pregnant. She ran to him like to a fire, to share the joy, to announce the beginning of their shared happiness…
But instead, she saw him in bed with another woman.
It was not just a blow — it was a collapse. The beginning of the end. A path strewn with broken glass, into madness.
Tanya ran out into the street like a frightened cat. Where? Why? She saw nothing around, just ran until she had no strength left. Sometimes she stopped, doubled over from vomiting — it turned her inside out.
Run away! Disappear! Not a single person nearby!
Somehow she reached the river — their favorite place where she and Igor often sat. She fell face down on the dry grass, pressing against the cold earth. The sun hit her eyes but seemed dim, dead, as if covered with a dirty veil.
Someone passing by must have called an ambulance and police. The girl lay motionless but breathing. Her eyes were empty, like a scorched steppe.
Then came darkness — long black days she did not remember. Only dense, sticky gloom surrounding her on all sides, and primal fear, freezing the blood in her veins. Faint figures in white coats, injections clouding consciousness, impassive examinations… Somewhere far away someone spoke about a child… That she lost it…
But she had nothing! No child, no life — everything burned out that day.
Everything that was before was erased from memory. And better so. Never to return again.
She ended up here by chance — thanks to a kind old woman from the place where she was sent — either a shelter or a mental hospital. That woman often talked about her little house in the village, about healing herbs, about quiet, measured life.
Tanya had no one then. And nothing. Only emptiness. Except maybe a half-ruined house two hundred versts from the cursed city.
She made up her mind. What was there to lose?
Nothing.
Tanya began to prepare. It was like preparing to jump into icy water. Every day — a little training of spirit, body, will.
An old doctor shook his head with sympathy: “How will you manage there, girl, all alone?” — “I’ll manage somehow,” Tanya answered, lifting her chin. “People live — I will live too.” — “Maybe, really, the herbs and silence will help. Maybe your sight will return. Although… your case is unique. In all my practice, I’ve heard of such only once. But that woman… she didn’t survive. Five years blind, and she took her own life. But don’t despair — miracles happen. They definitely happen.”
And Tanya tried. As best she could, she clawed out of the darkness, clinging to every sound, every thought. She recalled bits of the old woman’s stories, tried roots, leaves, listened to their language. Over time, it seemed to her she herself began to understand the herbs — intuitively, by feeling.
Once she saved a man from severe stomach pain, another from a cough that tormented him for years. She never asked for money for help. If people left grain, flour, or sugar — she accepted gratefully.
One of those she helped returned. And brought her Murat.
The puppy was still clumsy then, with floppy ears. But as soon as he licked her hand, pressed his wet nose — Tanya immediately understood: here he was, her most loyal and faithful friend. For many years ahead.
In her own home, Tanya felt confident — she knew every corner, every floorboard that creaked with each step. But her unexpected guest felt worse with each minute: his breathing became intermittent, wheezy.
Tanya deftly brewed her herbs as if she had done it a thousand times before. The smell was sharp, bitter; the brew dark and rich. She put the cup in front of the man.
“Drink.”
He grimaced, wrinkling his nose.
“Ugh… What a stench! This is poison or something!”
“Drink, I said!” Tanya’s voice was firm, without a hint of doubt. “While it still smells — there is a chance. When it stops smelling, it will be too late. Too late for sure.”
The man hesitated a little but took the cup with trembling hands and drank it in one gulp, grimacing at the bitterness.
Tanya nodded toward the bench:
“Now lie down. You’ll fall asleep soon. The best medicine is sleep.”
Obediently, like a child, he moved to the wooden couch covered with a thick homemade mattress. After a couple of minutes, Tanya heard his deep, even breathing — he fell asleep.
She exhaled in relief, relaxed her shoulders. Took off the heavy scarf from her head, then a smaller one. Put on a jacket almost borrowed — she always dressed like this when going outside or receiving guests. She wanted to remain unnoticed, to have fewer questions, less intrusion.
Who was this man? Why did his voice seem so familiar? And why did every syllable he spoke cut her heart like a splinter?
Tanya carefully sat on the edge of a chair near the couch. Gently, almost afraid to hurt him, she laid her palm on the sleeping man’s forehead. Hot…
And at that moment, it was as if her eyes were scorched — as if someone had poured broken glass into them.
She sharply withdrew her hand as if burned.
It can’t be! Could it really be him?! The man from the past, from the life she had long buried? No, it can’t be!
Again, with a trembling hand, Tanya touched his forehead.
And again — pain, burning, as if a fire started inside. Her heart raced, blood thundered in her temples, a ringing in her ears drowned out everything.
The man moaned in sleep, muttered something indistinct.
“Igor?..” Tanya whispered silently. The name she had not dared to say even in thought for years.
The man on the couch suddenly opened his eyes wide. His gaze was cloudy, full of disbelief.
“Tanya?.. It can’t be… This is some nightmare! You… you died many years ago! I searched for you! I turned everything upside down! Mother even showed me your grave! I almost went insane! Doctors stayed at home for months…” — “And I died too, Igor,” her voice was quiet but every word echoed in the room like a bell toll. “Died the day I saw you… with another woman. And our child died too. With me.” — “What nonsense? What bed?! What child?! I don’t understand anything!” — “I found out I was pregnant. We were supposed to meet that evening. But I couldn’t wait. I ran to your house, and there…” — “Wait!” — Igor sat up on his elbow, his face twisted in a grimace of pain. “That day I left early in the morning and only returned by eight. I ran to our clocks… I waited for you! Went to get the gift — the very cuckoo clock you wanted. Wanted to propose not with a ring, but with it.” His eyes no longer burned with hellish fire. Now it felt like heavy fingers pressed on them. And wouldn’t let go.
“But… I saw… there… someone was there,” Tanya whispered. “It was my cousin, Seryoga. He looks a lot like me. Mom… she probably took advantage of the situation. To separate us forever. Tanya… Tanya… what happened to you then?” And she began to speak. Told everything. Without opening her eyes, as if afraid that if she looked at him directly — the world would collapse again.
“My girl…” Igor’s voice trembled with love and pain. “How much you’ve suffered… How could you think I was capable of that?! You knew I loved you more than anything in the world!” Tanya suddenly opened her eyes wide and screamed — piercingly, desperately. Then immediately went limp, losing consciousness.
Murat, who had been dozing at her feet, jumped up, whimpered, licked her cheek.
And Igor slowly, with difficulty, slid off the couch. After that accident, which happened a few years after her disappearance, he never fully recovered. Each year it got worse.
“Tanya! Tanya! Wake up!”
…A whole year passed since that day. A year that changed everything.
Tanya was slowly coming back to life. Her eyes hurt, but now there was no endless, suffocating darkness. She began to see. First — light, then — outlines, colors. She blinked a couple of times. Already better. Objects became recognizable.
“I see…” she whispered, not believing. “I… see!”
Igor, who had not left her side, suddenly felt a thirst for life awaken in him.
“Tanyush! We are still young! I will get up! I will definitely get up! I’ll defy all diagnoses! We’ll be together! We have twenty years ahead! A whole life!” She laughed through tears — tears of happiness.
Inga flitted around like a stung wasp. She needed money. Or at least Igor’s documents to declare him “dead” and claim inheritance. To bribe whoever needed it, get the certificate. She had already mentally buried him. Or let them say where his grave was — as long as the papers were in order.
She lived abroad for two years with another rich admirer, but suddenly it turned out he had an old, but dangerous wife who cut off his financial support. Inga returned, hunched over, to her native wilderness, believing Igor was long dead. But no one knew about his death.
“It’s okay,” she thought, “I’ll arrange everything myself. Quickly and reliably.”
She circled the country road for an hour, unable to find the right house. Everything around had changed. New houses, construction, a clinic where there was once a wasteland… Ugh!
In the distance, a car appeared. She had to ask.
“Hello! Could you tell me, an old herbalist woman used to live here… I can’t find the house.”
The car stopped. The driver slowly took off his dark glasses. Smiled.
Inga jumped back as if struck.
“Igor?! Is this a joke?!”
A woman got out from the passenger seat — beautiful, confident, with inner strength in her eyes.
“I’m the herbalist. What do you want?”
Inga looked from one to the other.
“This… this is you?! You should be an ancient hag! Igor! Why are you alive?!”
He laughed — easy, free.
Inga realized how pitiful she looked now. But disappointment and anger burst out.
“The doctors said — six months, at most a year, and that’s it! This can’t be!!!”
“I hear you,” Igor stopped laughing. “But listen. The house you left me… it was always mine. But I left it to you. Here are the documents — take them. Live there. But no money. Not a penny.”
“I won’t give you a divorce!” Inga screamed.
Igor smirked.
“Inga, don’t make me laugh. I’ve been married for six months already. To a beloved woman.”
He hugged Tanya by the shoulders, and they, without looking back, went to their house. And Inga remained standing in the middle of the road, stunned by rage and hurt.