Tamara worked as a cashier in a supermarket. By lunchtime her head started spinning, she felt nauseous. Probably her blood pressure had spiked.
“Tom, go home,” said the shift supervisor, Sveta. “Anyone can see you’re not well.”
“Thank you,” Tamara nodded gratefully. “I’ll lie down for an hour, it’ll pass.”
She got home by two in the afternoon. Her husband Igor was supposed to be at work until six.
She went up to the second floor and quietly opened the door with her key. Her head was still spinning; she just wanted to lie down.
A male voice was coming from the kitchen. Igor was home and talking to someone on the phone.
“Yes, Sergey, I’ve made a final decision,” he was saying. “Tomorrow I’ll file for divorce.”
Tamara froze in the hallway, her heart pounding like crazy.
“No, she doesn’t suspect anything,” her husband went on. “She thinks everything is fine between us.”
Tamara’s vision went dark. Igor wanted to divorce her? But why? They didn’t seem to fight, they lived peacefully.
“Yes, I know it’s cruel,” Igor sighed. “But there’s no point dragging this out. We’ve both been suffering for six months already.”
“We’ve been suffering for six months?” Tamara thought in surprise. What suffering was he talking about? She hadn’t noticed anything.
“No, I don’t have a mistress,” Igor laughed. “I just realized we’re not right for each other.”
“Yes, of course I feel sorry for her,” her husband agreed with the person on the other end. “But what can I do? I can’t lie to myself my whole life.”
Tamara leaned against the wall. Her legs were giving way not only from feeling unwell.
“Sergey, you said it yourself — an honest divorce is better than a fake family happiness,” Igor said.
“The apartment? We’ll split it fifty-fifty. I’m not greedy. And I’ll pay alimony if needed.”
“Alimony?” Tamara thought, confused. They didn’t have children. What alimony was he talking about?
“No, we don’t have kids,” Igor continued, as if he had heard her thoughts. “I just mean if she loses her job because of the stress, I’ll help her financially.”
So her husband did think about her after all. That was something.
“Yeah, I took time off work on purpose,” Igor said. “I want to get the documents ready. The registry office told me what certificates we need.”
Tamara felt her breath catch. So he had already asked about everything, prepared everything. And she hadn’t suspected a thing.
“Of course I’ll try to explain everything like a human being,” her husband went on. “I’ll say I just fell out of love. That it’s my fault, not hers.”
“Fell out of love…” the words echoed in Tamara’s head. So he had loved her once? And she hadn’t even noticed when it ended.
“No, I won’t yell,” Igor assured his friend. “Tamara is a calm woman. She doesn’t throw tantrums.”
“Yes, she’ll probably cry…” His voice grew sad. “I feel sorry for her. She’s a good woman, just not the right one for me.”
Tamara quietly wiped away the tears that had appeared.
“When will I tell her? This evening, probably,” Igor decided. “What’s the point in waiting? Tomorrow I’m going to the registry office.”
“Sergey, what if I’m doing the wrong thing?” her husband suddenly hesitated. “Maybe we should try to fix our relationship again?”
Tamara held her breath.
“Yeah, you’re right,” Igor sighed. “We already tried. Nothing works. We live like roommates in a shared flat.”
That was true. In recent months they really had been talking more and more rarely. Each lived their own life.
When was the last time they hugged? There definitely hadn’t been anything for at least three months. And when was the last time they had a heartfelt talk? Even longer.
So Igor was right. They had become strangers.
But why hadn’t she noticed? Or had she, and just refused to admit it?
She heard her husband leave the kitchen and go into the living room. He turned on the TV.
Tamara got up and went over to the mirror. Her face looked drawn, her eyes red. It was obvious she had been crying.
She washed her face with cold water and did her hair. She needed to go and talk to Igor. Since he had decided to be honest, she would be honest too.
She walked into the living room. Igor was sitting on the couch, flipping through channels.
“Igor,” she said quietly.
He turned, saw his wife and looked surprised.
“Tom, you’re home? I didn’t hear you come in…”
“I felt sick at work. I left early.”
“What happened?” he asked with concern.
“My head was spinning… But it’s better now.”
“Sit down,” Igor made room for her on the couch. “Should I call a doctor?”
“No need. Igor, I need to talk to you.”
“About what?” he asked warily.
“About us. About our relationship.”
Igor turned pale.
“Tom… I also wanted to talk… but I didn’t know how to start…”
“I know,” Tamara said calmly. “You want a divorce.”
“How?!” Igor gasped.
“I heard your phone conversation. By accident.”
Her husband lowered his head.
“Tom… I’m sorry… I didn’t want you to find out like this…”
“And how did you want me to find out?”
“I wanted to explain everything calmly… like an adult…”
“Then explain.”
Igor raised his eyes.
“Tom, I don’t love you. I haven’t loved you for a long time. Maybe six months, maybe more.”
“Do I love you?” Tamara suddenly asked.
Igor was taken aback.
“I don’t know… do you?”
Tamara thought about it. Did she actually love Igor? Or was she just used to him?
“You know,” she said slowly, “I don’t think I love you either. I just didn’t want to admit it to myself.”
“Seriously?” Igor was surprised.
“Seriously. We really have become strangers.”
“Then why were you crying? It’s obvious you were.”
“I wasn’t crying out of love. I was hurt. Because you decided everything without me.”
“Tom, I was afraid of upsetting you…”
“Igor, if we both understand we don’t love each other, what’s the point of pretending?”
Her husband looked at her closely.
“Do you really think so? Or are you just saying it to make it easier for me?”
“I really think so. Igor, when was the last time you looked at me with love in your eyes?”
Igor thought honestly.
“I don’t remember. A long time ago.”
“And when was the last time I was happy that you came home?”
“I don’t remember that either.”
“There you go. We’re living on autopilot.”
Igor moved closer.
“Tom, so it turns out we’re both unhappy in this marriage?”
“Looks that way.”
“Then why are we still in it?”
“Because we’re afraid of change. It’s convenient to live the way things have always been.”
Igor nodded.
“Yeah, it’s convenient. But is it right?”
“It’s not,” Tamara sighed. “Igor, what if we tried again? Maybe we’d manage to fall in love with each other again?”
“Honestly? I don’t want to try. I’m tired of pretending.”
“So am I.” Tamara settled more comfortably. “You know how much of a relief it is to tell the truth?”
“Enormous. Tom, you’re not angry with me?”
“About what? That you fell out of love? You can’t order love to come and go.”
“What about the fact that I planned everything behind your back?”
Tamara thought for a moment.
“I’m a bit angry. But I understand — it was hard for you too.”
“It was very hard. I tormented myself for months. I thought maybe something was wrong with me.”
“There’s nothing wrong with you. Sometimes people just grow out of their relationships.”
“Tom, what do we do now?”
“Get divorced. But in a civilized way.”
“You really don’t mind?”
“I don’t. Igor, I want to be happy too. And I’m not happy with you. And you’re not happy with me.”
Igor took her hand.
“Thank you for understanding.”
“And thank you for being honest. Even if you weren’t honest with me first.”
“Sorry about that.”
“I forgive you.”
They fell silent. Strangely enough, they both felt lighter. The tension that had hung between them for months seemed to disappear.
“Tom, what about the apartment?” Igor asked.
“We’ll sell it. Split the money. Each of us will buy something of our own.”
“And until we sell it?”
“We’ll keep living together. Like roommates in a shared flat,” Tamara smiled.
“What if it becomes easier to live when we stop pretending to be a happy family?”
“Quite possible. But that doesn’t mean we should try to save the marriage.”
“I agree. Friendship is good. But it’s not the foundation for a family.”
“Igor, are you really going to the registry office tomorrow?”
“If you don’t mind.”
“I don’t mind. Shall we go together?”
“Seriously?”
“Why not? We both want this.”
Igor laughed.
“Tom, we have the strangest divorce in history.”
“At least it’s honest.”
“And without scandals.”
“Igor, you know what? I think this is the first normal conversation we’ve had in a year.”
“Yeah. It’s a pity it’s just before the divorce.”
“Or maybe if we’d talked this honestly before, nothing would have changed. We’d just have realized earlier that we aren’t right for each other.”
“You’re probably right.”
Tamara stood up.
“I’ll put the kettle on. Want some tea?”
“I do. Tom, can I ask a stupid question?”
“What question?”
“We’ll stay friends, won’t we?”
“Igor, I think we’ve only just become friends now.”
That evening they sat in the kitchen, drinking tea and discussing the details of the divorce. Calmly, businesslike. Like sensible, grown-up people.
“You know,” Tamara said, “I’m not even crying.”
“And I don’t feel guilty. Strange.”
“It’s not strange. We’re doing the right thing.”
“Tom, what if we meet in a year and realize we made a mistake?”
“Then we’ll try again. But I don’t think that will happen.”
“Neither do I.”
A month later the divorce was finalized. The apartment was sold quickly. Tamara rented a one-room flat in a new neighborhood, and Igor rented one in the old one.
They met occasionally — to divide the remaining things, to sort out formalities. And every time they were surprised by how easy it had become to be around each other.
Six months later fate brought Tamara together with Vladimir, an employee from a related department. He was divorced and raising his school-age daughter alone.
With Vladimir she felt something she hadn’t felt with Igor for a long time — the desire to see each other as soon as possible, to share the day’s events, to hear about his worries.
And a year later Igor married Svetlana, a woman who lived in his new building. She was cheerful, sociable, and the complete opposite of reserved Tamara.
When their paths accidentally crossed in the street, they both realized their decision to end the marriage had been the right one. They really hadn’t been a harmonious couple.
“Tom, you’re glowing with happiness,” Igor remarked.
“And you are too. That means we did the right thing.”
“Looks like it. Tom, thank you.”
“For what, exactly?”
“For not making a scene back then. For your understanding.”
“And I thank you. For your honesty. Even if it came a bit late.”
They shook hands and went their separate ways. Former spouses who had become friendly acquaintances. And that was for the best