A little girl in brown tights and without shoes ran down the icy village road. The ice mixed with mud thawed under her warm little feet, and the big toe peeking through a hole in her tights turned completely black. For some reason, it was this toe that Nadya felt the coldest.
Perhaps because she could barely feel her feet at all anymore. They were as frozen as the rest of her body, which was clad only in somewhat worn house dress.
Spring was just beginning and it was only by the calendar, not the weather outside. The only thing that gave away the time of year was the road. During the warm part of the day, the snow on it melted, exposing the black mud. And around it, snowdrifts were still white. It was evening now, and it certainly couldn’t be called warm. The road had frozen over again, and the ice cut through Nadya’s tights into her legs.
The girl was in third grade and already understood quite well that running down the street in such a state was abnormal, and she was attracting attention. But at that moment, Nadya didn’t care; she just wanted to get as far away from home as possible. There was her mother’s new man at home.
Nadya had long resigned herself to the fact that men appeared and disappeared in their home. Some demanded that Nadya call them dad, others simply ignored her. Nadya herself was tired of remembering new names.
The latest man was different. Nadya felt a vague threat from him as soon as he crossed the threshold of the neglected, long-in-need-of-repair house. This man didn’t start disciplining her with a belt like her mother’s previous cohabitant had. The girl was prepared for that. But this was different— a smiling, short man with a bald patch on half his head, slithered into the house like a slippery snake and started showering Nadya with gifts. He didn’t drink, unlike Nadya’s mother, and he had money.
You would think the girl should have been happy, but she wasn’t! Nadya had lived such a life until she was nine years old and had very keen intuition. She was terribly afraid of her new stepfather’s smiles and loathed taking his gifts. These gifts seemed sticky, enveloped in the web of a slimy uncle. He brought home alcohol, lots of alcohol, and Nadya’s mom would drink herself into oblivion. It was at such moments that the newfound stepfather’s desire to help Nadya with her studies, to talk to her, woke up. He would sit next to her and, in a syrupy voice, ask about her schoolwork, trying to put his hand on her shoulder or knee. Nadya felt nauseous at such moments and wanted to disappear, to dissolve. And usually, she managed to slip away, but not today.
Today, her mom drank more than usual and passed out right in the kitchen, dropping her head onto the table. The new cohabitant entered Nadya’s room and closed the shaky door more tightly behind him. All of this he did with such a greasy smile that chills ran down the girl’s spine. The smile did not bode well, nor did the man’s behavior. Today he decided to dispense with formalities, thinking he had been courting the girl long enough and luring her with gifts.
“What’s with this dress, Nadyusha? It’s kind of old. Let’s take it off, and later I’ll buy you a new one. Want?”
Horror paralyzed Nadya, and nausea rose to her throat. The man came up close to her and extended his spider-like hand. The girl vomited right onto his sweatpants. The man cursed, jumped back, and his face twisted with malice.
“So, is that how it is?” he hissed. “Wait, I’ll be right back. I’ll change and come back.”
The man left, and Nadya realized she had no time left. She had to run, but how? She wouldn’t make it to the front door. Her mother’s cohabitant would definitely stop her. The only way out was to jump through the window. The girl rushed to the wooden window frame, struggled with the rusty fasteners, climbed onto the windowsill, and stepped into a snowdrift that had nearly reached the window.
And so she ran down the road, ran towards the highway without knowing why. Fear and the desire to disappear quickly drove her, and the cold pierced through. It seemed to reach every bone, and soon Nadya would turn into one of those dirty ice clumps that so scratched her legs.
She reached the highway and walked along the shoulder. Her teeth no longer chattered as if in a fever, but her facial skin tightened from the frost. Her head hardly understood anything and suddenly she felt sleepy. Nadya didn’t hear the heavy truck stop behind her, puffing out clouds of smoke.
Mikhail went to bed early. What else is there to do alone? It was boring and unusual in the apartment without his wife Olya, who had gone to stay overnight to visit her mother. It was lonely alone, so he decided to get some good sleep.
They were a young couple, both not yet twenty-three. But they had already decided to have a child. His wife Misha was six months pregnant. Why not? Mikhail had a stable job with career prospects and his own apartment, provided by the state. It was hard for the young man to recall how at the age of fourteen his mother was stripped of parental rights and he was taken to an orphanage. Well, maybe it was for the best. It wasn’t easy in the orphanage, there’s no denying that, but it was even worse to stay with an eternally drunk mother and a series of drunken men who came and went. Mikhail hated most those who tried to discipline him, and their “discipline” consisted solely of physical abuse. Misha felt very lucky. Just four years in the orphanage, and then a bright streak began. He got an apartment, found a job, and then met Olya.
Olya, a homey girl, grew up in a complete family. Misha was very ashamed to introduce her to his mother. Initially lying that he was an orphan, he still couldn’t confess to his wife. Even when he visited his native village, he lied to Olya. But he didn’t visit because he missed his drinking mother, but because in the semi-ruined, sometimes unheated house, his little sister was growing up, whose father Misha did not remember or never knew. That wasn’t so important, as Mikhail still felt a kinship with this wild girl and knew how hard it was for her, having gone through it all himself.
Misha went to bed early, happy about the chance to get some sleep, but he couldn’t manage it. A phone call from an unknown number woke him up. He didn’t recognize the elderly voice on the other end at first.
“Mishka, is that you? It’s Aunt Tonia, your mom’s neighbor. Remember, you left me your number, told me to call if something happened. Well, something happened. A truck entered the village, some long-haul trucker brought your sister. I got curious; such big trucks rarely come to our village. I see this driver guy wrapped Nadya in a jacket and is carrying her to your house. And the girl is struggling, screaming that she won’t return home. Your mom’s man comes out, smiling, and Nadya recoils from him like from a leper. Anyway, I took your sister to my place. I don’t know what happened, but she’s been crying and refuses to go home. And this fellow, he even knocked on my window, seemed sober and rather genteel. Says Nadya refused to do her homework, and he punished her. I hardly believe him and don’t want to hand Nadya over, but I can’t keep her forever. The girl’s completely chilled. I gave her some tea with raspberries, and now she’s sleeping. That’s when I remembered you. What should we do, Mishka?”
Mikhail sat up in bed and shook his head. The elderly voice seemed to burst into the nightmare of his childhood. He couldn’t understand, what trucker? Where did he bring his sister from? He understood only one thing — Nadya was terrified to return to their mother’s house. Something bad must be happening there. Possibly even worse than what he had endured in his childhood. Nadya was a beautiful girl. His mother’s partners could only beat him, but people are capable of anything, especially from such a crowd! Deep down, Mikhail had always feared something like this, watching Nadya grow up.
“Don’t give her back,” he shouted into the phone. “Do you hear me, Aunt Tonia? Don’t give her back under any circumstances. I’ll be there soon.”
Pulling on his jeans with one hand, Mikhail called a taxi with the other. He had already forgotten about his plans to sleep. In less than an hour, he was in the village where he had lived until he was fourteen. His first stop was not at the neighbor’s but at his mother’s house. His mother, predictably, was passed out drunk right on the kitchen floor, a fallen chair beside her. But her new partner was sober, clear as glass. And how his eyes darted when he saw Mikhail! Only then did Misha understand that he had not been mistaken in his darkest assumptions. When he left the house, a fresh bruise was swelling under the bald man’s eye in shades of crimson.
The next evening, Misha’s wife, Olya, was returning home. She entered the building lightly, smiling as she remembered that this time her mother couldn’t force her to take home any of her homemade pickles and jams, because Olya shouldn’t lift heavy things now. She gently rubbed her neat belly and, remembering with annoyance that the elevator was still out of order, she slowly started up the stairs to the fifth floor. Misha was at home. Entering the hallway, Olya wanted to call out to him, but froze when she saw sloppy little boots on the shoe rack. Were they having guests? Someone with a child? Then why wasn’t there any adult shoes?
The TV was blaring in the living room. Olya’s husband was sitting on the couch with some girl. Absorbed in eating popcorn, they were watching cartoons. Upon seeing Olya, the girl hunched her shoulders, and Mikhail jumped up, dropping the popcorn bucket but ignoring it. He looked very guilty.
“Olya, hi. Meet my little sister Nadya.”
The girl’s eyebrows shot up and stayed there, giving her face a stunned expression. She was silent, not knowing what to say or ask in front of the child. Misha understood. Taking his wife by the elbow, he led her to the bedroom. Barely entering, he began to make excuses.
“Ol, I lied to you that I was an orphan. My mother is alive. She’s an alcoholic. She lost parental rights when I was fourteen. I was ashamed to admit this to you at the beginning when we first met. Well, then it just went from there. Remember, I told you I was visiting a friend in the village. So, I was going there, but not to my mother, to my little sister. She’s only nine. Mother still drinks and brings men home. This time she brought some sleaze and he started acting inappropriately towards Nadya. Nadya ran away. She reached the highway undressed and was picked up by some trucker. I picked up Nadya. Can she stay with us for a while?”
Olya mechanically placed her hands on her belly. She stroked it, calming herself and the baby at the same time. Her head spun from the overload of information.
“What do you want me to say?” she exclaimed. “Misha, you lied to me! How could you? Okay at the beginning, but then, when you proposed? You should have told the truth about yourself. I thought you had no relatives, and now it turns out you have a mother and a sister! And how is it, she will stay with us? She’s nine, presumably, she goes to school.
“The spring holidays have just started.”
“It doesn’t matter, Misha. She’s kind of strange. Why at her age is she watching very childish cartoons? I don’t understand, I can’t imagine….”
“Ol, please forgive me,” Mikhail touched his wife’s elbow. “I was ashamed of my past, so I lied. But Nadya, she’s not at fault. She watches cartoons because she missed out on a normal childhood. When you get to know her better, you’ll like her.”
Easier said than done! Maybe if Olya had met the girl under different circumstances, she might have been more receptive, but Misha’s prolonged deceit had thrown her off balance. She didn’t speak to her husband for a few days, harboring irritation against this unkempt, wild girl. Nadya behaved like a wild animal. She was absolutely not used to hygiene, didn’t brush her teeth, didn’t wash. And how she behaved at the table! Grabbing food with her hands or starting to drink from the edge of the soup bowl was normal for the girl. Meanwhile, Nadya, frightened by Olya’s silence in the first days, became withdrawn herself. The girl only talked to her brother, and answered Olya’s questions in monosyllables, tucking her head into her shoulders.
A few days later, Olya came around and forgave Misha. Then she asked her husband about his sister’s behavior.
“Why is she so jittery? It feels like she was beaten, she’s always expecting a blow.”
“Most likely, that was the case,” Misha said bitterly. “Mom’s partners used to hit me often. I think Nadya got it too. But she’s not like that with everyone. With me, Nadya behaves normally. You need to win her over.”
Olya didn’t want to win anyone over. Moreover, she saw no point in it. The holidays were coming to an end and Olya was eagerly waiting for the day when Mikhail would finally take his sister back to the village.
Yes, the girl was to be pitied, but Olya tried not to think about it because she understood that she didn’t want Nadya to stay in their apartment. However, by the end of the holidays, Misha became more thoughtful, and it frightened Olya. On the penultimate day, exactly what she feared happened. In the evening, locking themselves in the bedroom, the husband began the conversation.
Ol, I want Nadya to stay with us.”
“How do you imagine that?” Olga shuddered. “She has a mother.”
“What kind of mother is that?” Mikhail sighed. “Getting her parental rights terminated for Nadya wouldn’t be hard. And we’re a young, complete family with our own living space. We could easily take her under our guardianship.”
“No and no again,” Olga yelled.
She tried to keep her voice down so the sleeping girl in the next room wouldn’t hear her, but she couldn’t hold back.
“Misha, I said no. I couldn’t wait for the holidays to end so you would finally take Nadya away. I understand she’s your sister, but I can’t live with her. I’m too young to take care of such a big girl. She’s wild, uneducated, dirty. She looks at me like a little wolf. And have you forgotten that we’ll soon have our own child? It’ll be too cramped for the four of us in this apartment.”
“But I just can’t take her back to the village,” Mikhail raised his voice too. “Her mother still lives there with that slimeball. And who knows what could happen… Don’t you feel a bit sorry for Nadya?”
“I do. Very sorry. But first and foremost, I’m thinking about our child. In short, my final word is no. The holidays will end and you will take your sister back to the village.”
“No, I won’t,” Misha stubbornly said. “It’s like picking up a homeless kitten from the trash, feeding it, warming it up, and then throwing it out again. Only this isn’t a kitten, this is my sister!”
“Oh, is that so?” Olga flared up, “Then I will leave. I won’t live with you if she stays here. Choose who’s more important to you.”
The conversation took place in bed. Olga demonstratively turned her back to her husband and huffed offendedly, showing by her whole demeanor that the conversation was over. Mikhail also lay down. He tossed and turned, sighed heavily, but eventually fell asleep, while Olga couldn’t sleep. She already regretted her heated words. She loved Misha and didn’t want to leave him. At the same time, she terribly didn’t want Nadya to stay with them. The presence of this unfamiliar little person with a piercing gaze caused nothing but irritation in her. She didn’t know the girl, didn’t know what was going on in her head, and felt uncomfortable in her presence.
Olga stayed awake, distressed by the argument and suddenly heard quiet sounds in the apartment. Nadya was trying to move quietly, but she wasn’t very successful. A door clicked, a floorboard creaked. Olga lay there and listened. What was this unfamiliar girl prowling around for? And what was that sound? Was she opening the front door? What did she need in the stairwell?
Olga got up, groped for her long terry robe hanging on the chair, threw it over her shoulders, and left the bedroom. Turning on the light in the hallway, she saw that neither Nadya’s jacket nor her boots were there. Where could a nine-year-old girl go in an unfamiliar city at night?
Olga felt uneasy. Dressed only in a robe and slippers, she went out onto the staircase. The elevator was still out of order and she hurriedly started running down the stairs. She caught up with Nadya on the first floor.
“Stop, wait. Where are you going?” Olga asked, out of breath, holding her belly. “I barely caught up with you.”
At first, the girl was disconcerted, seeing her brother’s wife, then her face took on its usual sullen look.
“You didn’t have to chase me. I’m leaving.”
The girl was tense. It seemed like she might dash out of the entrance at any moment. And then what? Run after her in the street, in a robe?
“Let’s talk,” said Olga, slowly approaching the child. “I don’t understand what happened. Did you want to go to the village, to your mom? Then wait until morning, and Misha will take you.”
“I don’t want to go to my mom,” Nadya’s face contorted. She tried not to cry. “Misha said he would try to make it so I could stay with him. Then I overheard your conversation. If Misha leaves me here, then you will leave him. And I don’t want that either. Misha is good, and it would be bad for him without you. So, I’ll go. I’ll find an orphanage and ask them to take me in. I left now, at night, so you wouldn’t argue over me anymore. I already understood that you hate me.”
Olga looked at the girl as if seeing her for the first time. So, that’s what she was like! Ready to leave just to ensure her brother was alright. So, Nadya was kind. And what actually bothered Olga about her? Bad habits, unkemptness? But where would cleanliness come from if the girl grew up with a drinking mother?
“You silly girl,” Olga wrapped herself in the terry robe and came up to the girl, quietly, trying not to startle her, and hugged her shoulders.
“Where did you get the idea that I hate you? I just don’t know you. Maybe you’ll give me another chance to get to know you better? Let’s start our acquaintance over.”
Misha woke up in the morning and didn’t find his wife in bed. Fearing that she had gotten up early to leave him, he went out of the bedroom. He found Olga in the bathroom. She was teaching Nadya how to properly brush her teeth.
Misha kept silent. He remained silent when his wife and sister went to the kitchen, and Olga showed Nadya how to make pancakes for breakfast. This happened in a warm atmosphere. Olga joked with the girl, but very kindly. Misha was even disconcerted to hear Nadya’s laughter.
“Something happened while I was sleeping?” Mikhail squinted slyly.
“A lot happened while you were asleep,” Olga replied with a smile. “I asked Nadya to stay with us. And she agreed. Right, Nadya?” Olga winked at the girl. “So, Misha, you need to make a big effort to ensure Nadya can’t be taken away from us.”
A year passed.
Pushing a blue stroller ahead of her, Olga came out of the building. Her son slept peacefully in the stroller, wrapped up snugly. But Olga’s gaze was anxious and peering into the distance. She was looking for Nadya, who hadn’t returned from school on time. Olga was tense and almost ran with the stroller down the driveway until she saw a girl’s figure waving a shoe bag around the corner. Olga breathed out, and when Nadya approached, she yelled:
“Well, what’s up? Why is your phone off? Why are you late? Do you have any idea how worried I was?”
“Olga, sorry, sorry,” the girl approached in a bounce and hugged Olga for a second. “The phone died, and after lessons, they kept us. I’m only a little late. Why are you worried?”
“I’m always worried about you,” Olga waved her hand. “Better tell me, did you improve your grade in Russian?”
Olga wasn’t pretending; she was worried about Nadya. A year had passed, and she had grown to love the girl as her own. Now it was hard for her to believe that once Nadya had irritated her with her aloofness. It turns out kindness changes everything. It only took seeing the girl with different eyes for her to become different. She was a kind, bright child who had become part of Olga’s family.